Have to be honest, I am a bit grumpy this morning. My foot is really uncomfortable again. Seems that every time I moved in the night a sharp pain woke me up. And as I sit here on the sofa, leg and foot nicely elevated level with my hip it isn't any better.
Healing pain, I know ... supported by the delightful shade of puce yellow decorating the base of my ankle. The rest of the foot is hidden from sight under plaster of Paris and bandages. I'd imagine it looks like a masterpiece from Picasso's Blue Period under there. I can see the tips of my toes, still deep red from whatever they daubed thigh to toe on my left leg before surgery.
Actually, I'd like to be able to see it. If I could see it I could treat it, especially the wound site. Anyhow, I can't and I won't be able to for another 5 weeks so that is that.
"Patience, Le Sueur, I think to myself, "do what you can do rather than dwell on what you can't."
So, I shall continue to massage my leg with sweet almond oil and Phrai. It is nice to do and serves a good purpose, too. I'm quite fascinated by the ever-changing integrity of the muscles in the left calf compared to those on the right.
I found a video on YouTube yesterday of the surgery I have had. Well, the highlights, shall we call them. Posted for medical students, narrated by an ever so serious-sounding male voice. Alas all sound effects were silenced - call me gruesome if you will. . However it was extremely informative, if graphic, and seeing rather than just knowing the utter brutality of surgery like this goes a long way to helping me get my head around the pain.
I have always been like this. I don't just want to know, I need to know, It somehow adds to the engagement with and control I have over a situation such as this. I need to be an active participant in my recovery, doing what I can to optimise the outcome rather than a silent observer. Henry Ford said,
'Don't find fault, find a remedy.'
Going outside and feeling the warmth of the sun & the kiss of the breeze, reading about the mechanisms of pain, and watching a video of the surgical procedure I had a week ago not only helps to pass the time - 1 week is gone already. For me they are also as much of a remedy as taking a painkiller.